Never Again
by luluhrh
Summary: One-shot. Dudley Dursley wants some excitement in his life. He hasn't had any since Harry Potter left twenty years ago. For all Dudley knows, he could be dead. Until one fateful day... READ & REVIEW PLEASE! Rated K plus because of very very VERY minor swears. No longer a one-shot, I guess... now a two-shot!
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, this genius idea came from WhiteGamma97.**

**WhiteGamma97 reviewed one of my other stories, ****_Twin in the Mirror_**** (go check it out, too- haha, advertising!), and suggested that I write a story about the Dursleys. This is a WONDERFUL idea and I'm doing it right now.**

**This is called "Never Again" because when the Dursleys leave their home, they're told they'll never see Harry again.**

**Read, review, and ENJOY!**

**Third Person POV**

When Harry left, Dudley was sure he'd never see him again.

For starters, Harry would probably die in the strange wizard war that seemed to be starting. And even if he didn't, why would he try to find _Dudley?_ He hated Dudley, Dudley hated him. It had always been that way. Even though there had been apologies the last time they saw each other (on the part of Dudley), apologies couldn't overcome seventeen years of hatred, could it?

Those were the thoughts traveling through Dudley Dursley's mind as he sipped the tea his wife had given him. Twenty years had passed. Twenty long, boring years. Unlike when Harry was around, nothing ever seemed to happen. His daughter had learned a new word. His son had learned subtraction. His wife had found a better place to buy groceries. He'd gotten a promotion. All good things, but nothing truly exciting.

If his dearly departed father could see his thoughts, he would no doubt be horrified that his son wanted an exciting life. His mother, who had passed away recently, would be in shock.

But Dudley Dursley was not the son Petunia and Vernon had once spoiled. He had slimmed down and made his name as a business man. He had found love with a woman named Grace Waters (now Dursley) and they'd had two children who they did not spoil but did love. They lived a comfortable lifestyle in a comfortable home. He read novels and found that excitement made life better. If only there really was some in his life.

"Dudley?" Grace asked, concern in her warm brown eyes. "Is everything all right?"

Dudley nodded slightly, then changed his mind and shook his head. He had never told Grace about his childhood, or about the childhood of Harry, for fear that she'd be disgusted by his bullying of Harry, think he was insane, or both.

"It's nothing, Grace," he said heavily.

Before Grace could say anything else, Dudley reached for the remote and switched on the television.

"-and today we have a new development in the Africa and India Projects of Hermione Weasley!" the announcer was saying. "Miss Weasley is currently in Africa teaching young children how to read and write as well as world history! She was joined there by her husband, Ronald Weasley. Shortly after, Mr. Weasley's sister, Ginny Potter, joined them with her husband, Harry Potter."

At this, Dudley nearly spit out his tea.

"These three are supporting Miss Granger's efforts, as well as working on improving schools and living areas for those in need and providing food for those who need it."

Harry Potter. Harry Potter. That name. Dudley could not tear his eyes from the television screen.

"The Potters are being especially helpful with these projects by using their influence in social circles to gain more funding for the projects."

What?

"What was that?" The reporter seemed to have heard something in his earpiece. "Really?" He returned his attention to his viewers bemusedly. "Apparently we were wrong about Mr. Potter being here. He appears to have left recently."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

Dudley turned off the television and went to answer the door, but Grace got there first.

"Hello, I'm here to see Dudley Dursley. Who might you be?"

"I'm Grace, his wife. Do come in. How do you know Dudley?"

A snort came from the visitor, who was a man with messy black hair. Dudley couldn't see his face. "How do I know him? I grew up with him!"

"Really?"

"Yes. Big D is my cousin."

Dudley froze. Cousin? He only had one cousin. And Big D was the last thing that cousin had ever called him.

_See ya, Big D._

"And there he is!"

The man had turned around. Now Dudley had a view of bright, familiar green eyes, and a thin, lightning-shaped scar on his forehead.

Harry Potter grinned at Dudley Dursley.

"Nice to see you, Dudders. So how's life?"

And as Dudley sat down next to the cousin he had once despised, he couldn't help but be grateful to Harry. Wherever Harry was, there was excitement.

Dudley Dursley needed a little excitement.

**Well? What did you think? Not my best work, I know. For that, go check out some of my Percy Jackson stories (if you like that sort of thing).**

**Advertising. *giggle***

**Anyway, I know it was kind of short, but I think it worked out pretty well. Not much detail, but enough, right?**

**If you don't think I did well in this story, review. If you think I did well, review. Oh, to hell with it, just review!**

**Love ya! lulu**


	2. Chapter 2

**So. Apparently this is no longer a one-shot.**

**A little birdie (hi, Random guy) once told me that I should continue this if I get a good idea. Well, I have an idea. Not sure if it's good... but we shall see, will we not?**

**Gah. I'm strange.**

**Okay, so, without further ado, allow me to present to you (heh, rhyme)...**

**THE STORY!**

**Yes. I am very strange.**

_**THE STORY**_**(A/N *snort*)**

**Harry's POV**

Why did I come? Why the bloody hell did I come?

I had gone to Africa to help Mione with her projects (which were coming along nicely, by the way) when I suddenly felt the urge to visit- of all people- _Dudley._

I actually had Ginny conduct a quick informal examination testing my sanity, but she concluded that I was perfectly sane... or at least as sane as I was before I started to entertain the idea of visiting Dudley. So I couldn't blame this on insanity.

I couldn't blame it on guilt, either. Dudley should have been the guilty one, not me.

What could I blame it on? Bad mushrooms? A gnome bite? The return of Voldemort?

Finally, after trying to find some suitable explanation and failing, I decided that I just wanted to see how he was doing. He was my cousin, after all. Despite our mutual hatred of seventeen years, he was family.

So, after bidding a very confused Ron and Ginny and an extremely put out Hermione goodbye, I apparated all the way back to England (not fun).

I appeared on street corner. It was late, so there was no one out.

I looked down the street (it was still in Little Whinging, only now they lived at Number 9 Wisteria Walk) and found the house. I walked down to it and took it all in.

_Well, not too shabby, Dudley, _I thought, slightly impressed at the size of the house. It was no mansion, but it was tall enough and wide enough. He did well for himself.

I knocked on the clean, shiny door.

A woman answered. She had long dark hair and pretty brown eyes. A slender frame, tall but not quite as tall as me. Pretty. No Ginny, but pretty.

"Hello, I'm here to see Dudley Dursley. Who might you be?" I asked curiously.

"I'm Grace, his wife. Do come in. How do you know Dudley?"

I snorted, and I caught a glimpse of a man in the next room. A tall man. A well-built man. Not fat by a long shot, but well-built. He had relatively neat blonde hair and a slightly snout-like nose. His eyes were a watery blue.

Dudley?

Instead of calling him out, I replied. "How do I know him? I grew up with him!"

"Really?" Grace looked confused. Ah. So Dudley didn't tell her about me?

"Yes. Big D is my cousin."

In the other room, the tall, not fat man froze.

Yep. Definitely Dudley.

I walked into the room, saying, "And there he is!"

Dudley had certainly slimmed down. He had grown handsomer and let his hair grow out of its "sticking to his head" phase.

I grinned at him. "Nice to see you, Dudders. So how's life?"

Dudley was struck speechless. He gestured to the sitting room. I sat in a comfortable armchair while Dudley and Grace opted for the couch.

Since I didn't think Dudley was able to speak, I looked around and said, "From the looks of this place, I'd say you're pretty well off, eh Dudley?"

At his proper name, Dudley seemed to regain his speech. "Yeah... I guess so, Harry," he murmured.

Grace glanced at him in confusion. "Dudley?"

"Ah," I said, turning to Grace. "Grace, lovely to meet you. I'm Harry Potter."

Grace's eyes widened. "You're Harry Potter?"

I nodded.

Grace turned to Dudley looking stern. "Harry Potter is your cousin and you never told me?"

Dudley spluttered, searching for an answer.

I laughed. "It's okay, Dud. I'll explain."

Dudley sent me a grateful look.

What? "Dudley," "me," and "grateful" are three words that should not belong in the same sentence.

"Thanks, Harry."

I nodded, smiling at the strange creature that had replaced my cousin.

"Really, Harry." Dudley grinned. "Now that you're here, maybe we'll have some excitement in our lives."

I grinned. "Well, Big D, excitement does seem to follow me around, so maybe you'll get your wish."

**Well?**

**HOW DID I DO?**

**Good? Bad? Middle? Craptastic? Excellent?**

**Please please PLEASE tell me! * in Inigo Montoya voice* I must know!**

**For those who got that reference, tell me what it's from in the reviews please!**

**So ya. Tell me what ya think and tell me if ya got the reference.**

**Hope you enjoyed and all the jazz.**

**SHEBANG! (I love that word so much!)**

**Love ya! lulu**


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